My sister and I never felt truly part of either of our parents cultures. Whether perception or not, experience was our truth.
Let’s start with the languages. We could not speak either Tagalog or Korean. Filipinos did not really enforce the language upon their children and were happy to assimilate to English. Koreans, however expected their children to speak both Korean and English.
But even if you are not expected to learn your native language it is spoken enough in the house to absorb and understand what is spoken. We had neither. Our parents could communicate to each other only in English
We looked different. Koreans saw that my eyes were rounder, complexion darker, bigger nose and lips. And Filipinos saw that my eyes were not round enough, my complexion not as dark and my nose and lips not as big.
Religion also played into this divide as most Koreans are Christian and most Filipinos are Catholic. Amazing how Christianity has this one fundamental foundation yet there is so much discord in their beliefs. We would go to mass with my dad and then go to church or even to Kingdom Hall for Jehovah Witness worship with my mom.
All these factors played a role in our feeling of exclusion. We didn’t look like our parents friends, we didn’t speak like our parents friends and we we didn’t worship like our parents friends
We were treated differently. Sort of allowed to come into the house but not all the way.
Childhood lost 