You learn how to fit in. Only way to survive. That is what our family did. My father definitely had the easier time of it….being Filipino. The Tidewater area of Virginia had and still has one of the largest concentration of Filipinos in the US due to the Navy. He had this luxury and could largely retain his identity and culture.
The Filipino culture is based on food and family. Big gatherings in houses and public parks, lots of great food like lumpia and pancit , eating with your hands and laughing and joking. You are never safe from insults from family and only get respect if you can give it back equally. Adults are referred to as auntie and uncle and friends as cousins. And everyone is welcome. Filipinos do not close their doors to anyone.
My father was kind and warm and had many friends. He was a great cook and lived to please. Whether at our house or at Princess Anne Park, the mood was always festive when he was surrounded by his friends.
My mother had more challenges finding her community. Koreans were scarce but she did manage to find the few that were there.
My interactions with my mothers friends were very proper and civilized…..in other words, very Korean. There was a decorum and you knew your place as a child. Introductions were proper with few words, a short bow and then off playing quietly as to not interfere with the adult conversations. Meals and conversation were muted and orderly. You did not speak unless spoken to.
My sister and I lived between these 2 starkly different cultures never feeling completely comfortable in either as we were never Korean enough or Filipino enough
Childhood lost 